My name is Crusty FarkleChunks

My Aunt D sent this to me.

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
B. Once you have your new name, put it in the subject box and forward it to friends and family and co-workers. Don't forget to forward it back to the person who sent it to you, so they know you participated. The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
A = Snickle
B = Doombah
C = Goober
D = Cheesey
E = Crusty
F = Greasy
G = Dumbo
H = Farcus
I = Dorky
J = Doofus
K = Funky
L = Boobie
M = Sleezy
N = Sloppy
O = Fluffy
P = Stinky
Q = Slimy
R = Dorfus
S = Snooty
T = Tootsie
U = Dipsy
V = Sneezy
W = Liver
X = Skippy
Y = Dinky
Z = Zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
A = Dippin
B = Feather
C = Batty
D = Burger
E = Chicken
F = Barffy
G = Lizard
H = Waffle
I = Farkle
J = Monkey
K = Flippin
L = Fricken
M = Bubble
N = Rhino
O = Potty
Q = Buckle
R = Gizzard
S = Lickin
T = Snickle
U = Chuckle
V = Pickle
W = Hubble
X = Dingle
Y = Gorilla
Z = Girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = Butt
b = Boob
c = Face
d = Nose
e = Hump
f = Breath
g = Pants
h = Shorts
i = Lips
j = Honker
k = Head
l = Tush
m = Chunks
n = Dunkin
o = Brains
p = Biscuits
q = Toes
r = Doodle
s = Fanny
t = Sniffer
u = Sprinkles
v = Frack
w = Squirt
x = Humperdinck
y = Hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is:Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Leave your new name in the comments.